Hiccup

"A hiccup is an involuntary spasm of the diaphragm; typically this repeats several times a minute until some home remedy is applied. The sudden rush of air into the lungs causes the glottis to close, creating the "hic" noise. It is sometimes written as hiccough, though this spelling is becoming archaic. " (Wikipedia, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiccup)

Isn't that a dry and melancholy description? Humorous symptoms deserve better descriptions than that! "Humorous?" you ask. "How is this humorous?" you demand.

I'll tell you how it's humorous. I will provide the words and scenery. You will provide the imagination.

First, imagine your chattiest coworker. You know him. He loves to talk. He talks endlessly. He talks at everyone and about nothing.

Now, imagine this. Imagine you can induce hiccups in people. It's a special gift. You reserve it for special occasions. All you need is to snap your fingers.

Oh dear! He has "paid you a visit". But your work beckons you. Well ok, you pretend it beckons. The hint isn't received. You wait a moment longer. You wait to see if he'll leave. He lingers. You ignore him.

"So then do you know what? Do you know Darth Mull did?" ...
"So? Do you?" ...
"I'm not boring you am I?"...

*SNAP*
*Hic* *Hic*

*SNAP* *SNAP*
*Hic**Hic**Hic**Hic**Hic**Hic**Hic*

He scurries to his office. But, you still have a problem. Your imp isn't fulfilled. You'll need another session with your coworker.

Later that day he is vulnerable. He is standing at the coffee machine. He is about to take a sip of coffee. The coffee is piping hot. The Imp demands satisfaction. The Imp knows coffee is his lifes blood. He cannot live without it. He has twenty-three lectures on coffee. Only one of the lectures is correct. It's about how to get a darker roast. The beans are roasted longer. Truly this genius goes unrewarded. You decide to reward this genius.

You restrain The Imp. You must find the perfect moment. It's very close now. The cup is almost touching his lips. The Imp is no longer restrained!

*SNAP*
*hic* *hic*

Oh dear! Did he really spill the coffee there!?! It looks very painful. The Imp is fulfilled. You snicker quietly to yourself, finally seeing the humor.