Jerome Raynaud was a young, attractive and rich Englishman of French descent. Jerome had been engaged many times. But like clockwork, every morning Jerome was to marry he'd awake with his hands and feet burning and eventually turning numb. No matter how many times he tried to marry his beloved, he always found the same ailment afflicting him. So the inevitable strife would occur between Jerome and his beloved. She would leave Jerome and he would move on. Later he would find another comely maiden to woo, and to court. Again, like clockwork, his ailment would set in on the very morning he was to be wed.
Then one day, when out walking and pondering the question "Will I be a bachelor forever?"; Jerome ran across the most unlikely of people. Jerome met a pauper who, in better clothes, could be mistaken for himself! So immediately Jerome took this fellow of the street under his wing. He taught him all the manners a truly gentile person should have. Equestrian pursuits, fencing, dancing, debating, these were all subjects that Jerome loved and at which the pauper excelled at. All he needed now was a new lady to court.
And a new lady he found. Jerome's plan was working perfectly. His new love, Miss Joanne, was lovely indeed. Long silky brown hair flowed down just beyond her shoulders. She was comely, sharp as a tack, easy to please and was born of gentry. He knew at once she was the one. He knew she would make the perfect bride, wife and mother to his children.
After many months of courtship, Jerome was convinced that she would cast off her other suitors and take his hand in marriage. As well Jerome was convinced his new doppelganger friend had learned not only the manners of the gentile, but also his mannerisms. So Jerome confessed to his now dapper and charming twin and friend. "Jack, my dear friend, I must admit that my intentions in teaching you to become a gentleman were not pure and selfless" Jerome said. To which Jack replied "Do go on." Jerome continued "Well you see, I suffer a severe, and quite literal case of cold feet whenever I am about to wed. I cannot so much as walk down the stairs so much as the wedding aisle. And as you know I will not inherit much more than I already have if I do not sire an heir." At which point Jack suggested "I believe I see where you're going. Miss Joanne is quite lovely, and I do say had you not won her heart, I'd have courted her myself. But in all honesty don't you think that she will notice a difference at the altar?"
Jerome pondered this for a moment and said, "You know, you're quite right. We must have her over. We will put her to a test. I shall dress as a pauper and pretend to be you, and you will dress as me. We will have her over for supper and see if she notices." Jack smiled and said "I do believe you have a wonderful plan." Somewhat sadly, Jerome said "Ahh Jack you are a true friend. However, you do realize that after Miss Joanne and I are wed you will need to find your own accommodations. But until the wedding night you will be a guest in my house!" To which Jack smiled and said "And with the tutelage you have provided me, that shall be no problem. "
So Jerome and Jack administered their test on Miss Joanne. It went over splendidly. Through the entire meal Joanne did not show any signs that she knew Jerome was playing Jack, and that Jack was playing Jerome. Feeling brave Jack seized the opportunity. He took Miss Joanne's hand. He got down on one knee and offered this simple proposal. "Miss Joanne, as you know, my intentions and heart are pure. My feelings for you are more than mere words can describe. Will you make me the happiest man alive and tell me that you'll marry me?"
Joanne was overwhelmed with joy and accepted the proposal. So Jack feeling brave asked if two months out was too soon. To which Joanne replied, "Tonight wouldn't be soon enough to marry you Jack. You've never left a woman at the altar. You've never before lied to me; and I expect you to never lie to me again. Nor have you hidden your intentions from a dear friend." Looking at Jerome she said "Don't feel left out Jerome. I'm sure Jack will make you the best man. As well, now you can go to the wedding. You will even get to dance with and kiss the bride. And, never once will you worry for your feet growing cold on the morning of the wedding."
Morals of the story:
- "Honesty is the best policy."
- "Not all doppelgangers are out to kill you."
- "No two people really look that much alike."
- "Joanne was sharp as a tack; did you really think she'd be so easily fooled?"
- "You do realize, Jack was already courting her, right?"
Apart from "cold feet", not a damn thing!
